Shuffling of the Feet

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I don’t know if it’s because I’m a pedestrian that I notice it more, but I’m concerned about the growing number of people I see that are having trouble raising their foot one after another, they seem to be only able to drag them along! I am concerned about the evolution of humanity.

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A Conversation Between Angels CXXXII

“I so miss driving.”

“Driving?”

“Yeah, you know, just getting in the car and going somewhere.”

“How can you miss driving? Do you miss the people driving too slow? Do you miss the people driving too fast? Do you miss the people turning in front of you with no turn signal, the texting, the tailgating, the traffic?!”

“No. But I miss yelling at them about it.”

Auto-Correct is Making America Stoopid

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We’ve all seen the funny texts where auto-correct has changed someone’s word and it was sent before they could catch it. I’ve laughed. It’s happened to me. But in the last week I’ve seen several things that are leading me to believe that we need to start catching this now. All we need, America, is another strike against us that affects our employability.

Take for instance an individual that I had a business correspondence with just today. They told me that they didn’t want to “waste their time” but it came out as “waist.” Ok, funny ha ha honest mistake. But the thing is, it was business. And he or she did not bother to proof-read and they didn’t get corrected. We’re becoming a bunch of lazy slobs that expect to be spell-checked.

Back when I was in high school we didn’t have personal computers (that’s what a PC is for anyone under the age of thirty) and calculators weren’t aloud in school. No, this is not about how we had it more difficult and had to walk to school in the snow and how you kids blah blah blah blah blah. We just weren’t allowed to use calculators on tests because they wanted us to use our heads. And as ridiculous as it seemed at the time to me, and they did end up changing the rules, I’m glad. I like being aware!

I didn’t get it because I was actually good at math and I am still the guy that gets handed the restaurant check to figure out who owes how much and how much tip. I don’t know why they do it because my math is flawed in that situation because I always want to tip on hotness of the waitress and want them to tell her instead of my asking her out. What can I say, I still have the nerd shy kid in me.

I can also spell and am fairly good at grammar, although my critiques in writing groups are a bloody mess of corrections in the battlefield that is tenses for me. So I may not be sympathetic enough here, but I do also think I have a point. Just like calculator and later laptops and later iPads in the math classroom, auto-correct and spell check on everything has left us bereft of another basic skill that’s going to land more and more jobs in the outsourced inbox.

Now I can’t speak about other countries, maybe it’s happening there too, but it’s rampant here. Take a classic case of how many people use “ur” in their text messages and emails. That has just multiplied in exponential numbers the people that were already screwing up Your and You’re.

So fellow bloggers and followers that are obviously reading and using the Internet to read this, let’s start with us. I’ve made a vow to do a better job of proof-reading my blogs. For you bloggers, in case you didn’t know, there’s a little Preview button next to the Save Draft. Use it, your blog opens in another window and you can see it as it appears to all your peeps.

And all of you fine people I’m lucky enough to count as followers,  type out “are you home.” It will increase your hand-eye coordination and may burn off a couple of more calories—we really do need to do more about this obesity thing.

But one movement at a time! Join Me. Ashton Kutcher says that smart is sexy and he’s got to be right—he’s tall. Like I said, I like being aware. And that’s what using your head does. The more you pay attention to the simplest of things the more you’ll pay attention to the big beautiful things. Let’s get America smarter!

Kids Miss Out On Magic

This is the kind of blog that if I would say it in person to a teenager, their hip would jut out and “whatever” would be read on their face. But really, I think kids miss out on magic.

See kids never experienced a hi-fi system with a huge cabinet, nor an eight track deck that was probably the ugliest of the audio devices. They never had cassette tapes that would come spooling out and jam up your player, they never had Walkmans or Discmans and depending on their age, they may have never owned a CD. So they don’t realize how truly amazing that little tiny iPod is and what an incredible music player they hold in the palm of their hand.

Kids never had phones with cords, so that it wrapped around and twisted until you could only be a foot away from the phone and you couldn’t get any privacy when you talked to a girl or a boy. So they don’t know how really astonishing a cell phone is. Not only can you talk anywhere you want, but you can check your schedule, surf the Internet.

Speaking of the Internet, kids never used encyclopedias. Nuff said.

Kids never had to write a letter and wait for a response or write a not to someone in school and not get the response til the end of the period or the end of the day to know how mind-blowing texting is.

Kids are used to two working parents and they might not have experienced a big home-cooked meal and if they have, mostly just on Holidays so it’s not a regular thing. Thus they have no idea how impressively fast fast-food is delivered to your mouth.

Most teens probably don’t have a grandma who had to take the bus everywhere, walked everywhere so she was active and thin her entire life because she never lost the “get up and go.” That’s why they’re so fat! Seriously! In 7-11 I saw six young girls and guys falling over their swimsuits; how can they wear something so skimpy and parade their bellies and fat asses like that.

Whatever.