My 2015 Confusing Resolutions

2015This blog started out in a different place. I walked out of the grocery store yesterday to find three shopping carts, all at the point where they can’t go any further because of their wheels stopping, left in such a way to block the exit. For the walkĀ back to my apartment I had the title “Ending Stupid” going through my head. People have to stop behaving like idiots, that’s the way the world will really change. That should be the World’s New Year’s Resolution.

Which of course, I’m right. šŸ˜‰ Ā But what I’ve decided has really got to change is me. Because all my thoughts and frustrations about the way I believe these people are being insensitive, rude, obnoxious and doing nothing about raising the level of care, concern and courtesy in our society, which again, I’m right, is still doing more damage to me than it is to anyone. All it does is curl me up in more of a negative ball of friction, disappointment and anger.

I’m a big fan of cognitive behavioral therapy and in particular rational emotive behavioral therapy (http://rebt.org) and one of its tenets is that it’s not the things that come at us that botherĀ us but what we think of them. So my New Year’s resolution is to master the art of REBT. Instead of getting mad at these “cart pushers” that aren’t even there, I’m going to push one out of the way so the next person isn’t inconvenienced, until the person from the store tasked with retrieving them does their job.

When a person who is walking one of those little rat dogs on a retractable leash but fails to reel it in so that I have to stop or walk out of theĀ dog’sĀ way, I’m going to take the two seconds to step around because it’s much better thanĀ the greater number of my blood pressure possibly rising to.

When I see a misleading or idiotic headline on a website I’m going to write something positive or funny to counteract the misinformation and negativity in our society’s eyes and ears instead of letting it upset me.

I’m only able to change my world. And everyone does not have to act the way I want them to, that’s just not the way things work. So I have to learn to change my thinking. In a way this is a resolution that I’m continuing because I was very inspired (and wrote about here) by Amy Poehler making a comment about how our eyes and ears are hearing too much garbage and we need to hear better things. It’s made me re-work blogs that started out angry and turning them (hopefully) into something funny or meaningful. I’m going to try and do that faster in my one life and in my own head so that I don’t waste any precious time, thought or energy on something that I can’t change and is only hurting me. I want more positive and happy thoughts outweighing the negative this year. And I’m gonna do it, I CAN AND I WILL.

At least until i become king and can have little foot soldiers running around with little devices to give these cart pushers and dog owners a little zap to get themĀ to re-think.

 

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The Battle of the Brains

brains

It’s midnight, I want to go to sleep, but I also want to file my blog. I am a man of two minds, not only in this dilemma but the one that’s going on between the two hemispheres in the control of my functions: Left Brain vs. Right Brain.

I’ve found that my current personal and professional goals do battle in my noodle on a regular basis. There is the part of me that wants to be a full time writer and there’s the part of me that likes food and must still continue to do web design. And even though the second can be creative as well, the mathematical part necessary to code a web site puts it often more heavily into the left hemisphere and that side wants to dominate and tell the flaky artistic part to go get a burrito.

So I find myself here, laptop poised, fingers lightly on the a, s, d, f,j k, l and ; keys ready to type and I can’t get the brain to switch over. I slam the heel of my hand against the side of my skull trying to force the synapses to fire that way the way you might try to make water come out your ear. Nothing.

I watch a comedy clip of my favorite stand-up of the moment Louis CK. Nothing.

I wish to run nude and free through the unlimited universe of thought, imagination and creativity but there’s something unfinished on one of my website projects and the stubborn part of me that doesn’t like loose ends still has his pocket protector on.

The Battle of my Brains, or more appropriately, the sides of my brain, are like the battle waged every day in high school cafeterias, the cool kids versus the nerds. Each thinks they are better, each is a little jealous of the other’s capabilities, and neither wants to sit together. And the funny part is they need each other. Like the jock needs the nerd to copy off on test day, I need the left brain to manage websites and social media in order to increase my blogging audience. And like the geek needs the artist to introduce him to the art of talking to girls or at least procure beer so it won’t matter, I need the writer to help with all of the design parts and to keep me inspired on a day to day basis.

So why can’t they all justĀ get along? Why is it that the logical side won’t make room for the creative side and vice-versa? Why do they have to have their “me” time? I suppose it’s like having twins, they both want more attention and will scream louder in an attemptĀ to get it. But just like parents that can be exhausted by all the work until they see the twins dressed up for some special occasion, I should just be thankful that I’ve been blessed with both and keep doing my work.

Thanks for listening.

 

 

 

 

I Feel Good. What’s Gonna Happen?

I’ve been happy lately. Calmer than I’ve been in many years. But isn’t it funny that I should wonder what’s going to happen to take that away from me?

When you see someone and ask “how’s it going?”, it is basically an invitation for them to dump a load of poop about their lives right on your shoes. We seem to gravitate towards the negative. Maybe more so in the last ten years of economic woes and conflict abounding around the world. Maybe it’s everybody from Lance Armstrong to catholic priests not turning out the way we saw them. If our heroes are f*#k-ups what hope do we have?

I look at CNN.com and the Huffington Post for inspiration in writing my blog. Man you can get so depressed so fast. Luckily Mr. Boffo is also one of my bookmarks. But we’re all obsessed with complaining about the state of things instead of looking for alternatives or panning for good (just came up with that, do not use without my permission.)

We need shows like the Brady Bunch instead of Honey Boo Boo. We need Patch Adams running Obamacare. And we need to stop eating fast foods, it’s messing with our moods.

There’s a simple tenant of cognitive behavioral therapy that says things don’t bother us, only what we think of those things can have an effect. So I’m gonna let everyone else be a-holes and I’m gonna smile and wave to them from this ride.

I like this guy.