The Opposite of Poop

Readers of this blog may know that I like poop jokes. My brother called me the King of Scatological Humor. So if you signed up to follow my blog because of a more inspirational, mature yet funny, entry, I apologize. Sometimes I just have to go dirty.

You see, for twenty five years I entertained children 8-14 times a week. Primarily younger children and the kind of audience that thinks that saying “poop” out loud is hysterical. So that just feeds the demon when it elicits nothing but howling laughter. As the best magician I know Dennis DeBondt said about his then five year old daughter,  “I can say ‘poop’ and she will laugh hysterically and then turn around, turn back and say it again and she will laugh with the same intensity.”

Maybe it’s the shared “nasty” little thing we have to do. My fascination with poop does not extend to touching it, smelling it or squishing it through my fingers, at least not since my diapered Picasso poop years my mother has told me about. No I just think it’s the natural grounder. We all have to do it, we all have to endure it when it doesn’t want to come out, and we all gag the first time we change a diaper.

As the book says “Everybody Poops.” One could argue that everyone pees but that’s two different places. No, we all must take our seat. I always imagined President George Bush laughing and saying “Bombs Away” when he was invading Iraq. There are people that find solace in their toilet time-the only quiet place they can find in the house and one that no one really ever threatens to interrupt because you don’t want to see others in the middle of the exercise. Some read. Some probably ponder their life with the metaphor of it “being in the toilet.” Some, if they’re eating healthy with lots of nutritious foods, get in get out, job done.

There is nothing other than poop. The opposite of poop is poop, spelled backwards and forwards. So let’s all strive to eat better, manage stress a little better and celebrate our poop.