New Halloween Knock-Knock Jokes*

Knock Knock.

Who’s there?


Bat Who?

Bat-cha thought this was gonna be scary.


Knock Knock.

Who’s there?


Boo Who?

Boo-tiful day ain’t it?


Knock Knock.

Who’s there?


Werewolf Who?



Knock Knock.

Who’s there?

Trick or Treat.

Trick or Treat Who?

No, give me some candy!


*I said new ones, I didn’t say they’d be funny.




A Conversation Between Angels XVIV

“Hello Fred.”

“Hey Ethel.”

“Do you know what this week is?”

“How can I know what week it is, there’s no clocks, no TV, no radio.”

“I know, but I overheard the cleaning crew. It’s Halloween.”

“Oh, geez. Thank Heavens no one would put on a costume up here, we all have to dress alike.”

“I guess we’re all going as angels.”

“Better than all the silly pirates, vampires, clowns.”

“And all of the pumpkin carving; how many of those seeds can you eat?”

“Oye, not to mention all the ones they smashed on our front lawn.”

“Or all the tp-ing we got over the years.”

“And of course, all the neighborhood kids running around with all their trick-or-treating.”


“I will miss the Snickers.”

“Baby Ruth.”