Water Cooler Talk 5-7-13

Weekly random thoughts. Since I’m self-employed it’s my version of water cooler talk: no one to talk to so it goes out to cyberspace.

Do Vampires miss the beach?

If you grow your fingernails long and pointy, the pen is truly mightier than the sword because you can’t write with the darn thing.

Is there a SubUrban Outfitters?

I’ve wanted to feel younger so I’ve been trying to poop in my pants. It’s not as easy as it once was.

The only things to watch on hulu were things where people were getting killed and killing. I found this thing called a book. It was funny. I felt good. Whoa.

Thanks Google Glass. Awesome, like people who you can’t tell if they’re talking to you or not because you don’t see their bluetooth, now we won’t know if someone is looking at us or not. I was bad at knowing if girls were interested in me already.

If you build a real house out of toothpicks must you use tree bark to skewer cheese lest you be redundant?

If Michelangelo came back to life would he skip the clay and brushes and go straight to the computer?

I just realized ten years have gone by like a flash and I’ve done nothing. I really should get out of bed.

A chocolate chip cookie walks into a bar, the bartender says hey we don’t serve your kind here. Cookie says I bet you’d be whistling a different tune if I was butterscotch. The bartender says no you moron, this is a bar. You’re a cookie.